When the Platform Becomes the Parent: How Algorithms Are Raising a Generation

The algorithm knows you better than your parents do.
It knows when you’re lonely. When you’re up late. What makes you laugh. Who you envy.
It finishes your sentence. Curates your dreams. Shapes your sense of self.

This is not exaggeration. This is the reality of algorithmic parenting where platforms become the primary influence in a young person’s life.

For Gen Z and Gen Alpha across Africa, the feed is often more present than teachers, more consistent than caregivers, and more persuasive than tradition.

What Is Algorithmic Parenting?
It’s what happens when:
• A 13-year-old opens TikTok before they open their schoolbooks
• A young woman curates her face for Reels before she’s ever seen her unfiltered reflection
• A boy in Kampala shapes his accent and dreams around who gets views, not who he is
• Entire peer groups measure worth through algorithmic attention

The algorithm has become a silent authority: setting standards, offering feedback, issuing rewards, and shaping identity.

How Algorithms Shape African Youth
• Identity Formation: What’s popular becomes aspirational even if it doesn’t reflect local values, realities, or beauty standards.
• Emotional Dependency: Dopamine from likes and visibility creates cycles of anxiety, addiction, and performance.
• Cultural Displacement: African languages, aesthetics, and references are underrepresented in the feed, making youth feel like their world isn’t “worthy” of the algorithm.
• Political Beliefs: What’s trending informs what’s “true,” even when misinformation or erasure is embedded in the algorithm.

Youth Speak: What It Feels Like
“I scroll when I’m sad, but then I feel worse.”
“My best videos are the ones that feel the least like me.”
“Everything feels urgent. Like if I don’t post, I’ll disappear.”
“My culture doesn’t trend, so I’ve stopped posting in my language.”

These aren’t just algorithmic side effects. They’re emotional and cultural consequences.

Why This Is Dangerous
• The algorithm rewards performance, not authenticity
• It erases nuance, slows critical thinking, and accelerates comparison
• It rewires identity before it’s even fully formed
• And it does so quietly without accountability, consent, or care

What a New Kind of Digital Upbringing Could Look Like
• Community-powered digital spaces rooted in Afrocentric values
• Platforms that honour emotion, curiosity, and creativity without exploiting them
• Algorithms trained on diverse datasets, not just commercial trends
• Digital parenting programs that help adults understand and support tech-aware youth
• Slow tech movements that prioritise depth over dopamine

What You Can Do
• Curate your feed to reflect what makes you feel grounded, not just hyped
• Follow and support local creators who speak your language and reflect your experience
• Take breaks and notice who you are when you’re offline
• Learn how the algorithm works so you can resist it with intention
• Share stories with younger siblings, cousins, and students about healthy digital identity
• Push for platform regulation and Afrocentric platform innovation

We create. We resist. We recode.
Because African youth deserve more than an algorithm, they deserve care, culture, and clarity.